July 2010
3 posts
me: how's your day?
heevie: It's like that scene in back to the future where biff is doing marty's mom or whatever so marty starts to disappear, and he realizes he has to go back and change the past so he won't disappear
heevie: more or less
heevie: except marty is me, the polaroid is a website, marty's mom is a project manager, and biff is the client
heevie: and alex is george mcfly (not pictured)
me: i think asking how your day is is the best part of my day
Vegas, Anyone? →
I’d so be there if I were on this continent in October.
skrillat:
I know nobody is actually reading this or considering going to Vegas. But I thought I should ask anyway.
June 2010
1 post
Substitute Mississippi for Oklahoma in this last... →
…and I’m more like my favorite Golden Girl than I ever realized.
There was nothing you couldn’t adore about this grand old dame. R.I.P. Rue McClanahan. You will be missed.
May 2010
3 posts
Today the WSJ and Gawker were talking about students who completed undergrad in 3 years. Eight years later, I for one have no regrets about speeding through, nor do I feel I missed out on any part of the college experience. Had I done things any differently, would the chain of events after college have led me to my current life that transcends awesome? I think the fuck not.
Eazy-Heev
heevie: girl you shoulda known by now heevie-duz-it
April 2010
10 posts
A simple "fine" would suffice
me: how's your day?
heav: you know if a unicorn and a pegasus had a baby
heav: and that baby were to fly over a rainbow that was coming out from behind a waterfall
heav: and as it flew over the rainbow, magical unicorn rainbow dust poured down from the sky
heav: and the magical unicorn rainbow dust fell on your head
heav: my day is kinda like that
Are we becoming Juggalos?
julseas: you guys flying to montreal?
me: no driving
me: have no idea where we're gonna stay or what to do
julseas: eat baguettes and walk on cobblestone streets
julseas: and stop at niagra falls
julseas: you're done!
me: sounds like a plan
me: have some of this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine
me: well maybe not
julseas: yes you must
julseas: it's like the classyass disco fries
me: that is my new favorite phrase
julseas: it'll blow your motherfucking mind
me: magic all up in this bitch
julseas: okay ICP needs to write a song about disco fries
Today's hangover helper →
Nursing last night’s hangover from the air guitar championship, today I have become hooked on idump4u.com. This afternoon has been dedicated to listening to people get dumped, munching on the best sesame chicken east of the Mississippi, and thanking my lucky stars for the best significant other a girl could hope for.
Palinspeak is "linguistic silly string" →
The grammar nazi/nerd in me loves this breakdown of Palin’s speech patterns and the differences between spoken and written communication in general. Giving an absurd number of presentations in school has really underscored the way you have to force your thought process to adapt to speaking sometimes, and how hard it can be to verbalize things you can say with crystal clarity in print. ...
Reason #9,574 why I will not be returning to... →
Is anything good EVER reported about my home state?
March 2010
6 posts
Oh, Hamilton. →
You had me at “GOD DAMN KIDS TODAY DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE Illmatic.”
If I had a dollar for every "Nice Guy" who whined... →
…I’d be one rich bitch. And they’d still be jerks.
February 2010
6 posts
WatchEven J-Lo couldn’t ruin this skit.
Watch
whatever happened to predictability
julseas: so i was explaining dinner to tom
julseas: dinner from saturday
julseas: and was like
julseas: well i got really drunk sleepy
julseas: we all started yelling
julseas: dave fell asleep in the closet
julseas: standing up
julseas: and so yeah
julseas: feels like family
Dinner win.
We are such a dysfunctional yet perfectly awesome family.
julseas:
Last Saturday’s teachable moment: How do you know your friends have become family? Well: Dinner involves getting really smackered together and yelling at each other about really asinine things, like how everyone else’s Texas Hold ‘Em rules are TOTALLY WRONG. Then, one friend falls asleep in the closet standing up, and we all...
January 2010
3 posts
Maybe the gubmint will look the other way when I... →
Me, according to some random astrology website...
Fearless, reckless, eager to meet all life’s challenges — that sums up January 13 Capricorns, who often lead a tumultuous existence. They often give the impression of being emotionally unstable, but they have the power to learn from their mistakes. They can see the funny side of even the most difficult situation.
You should embrace: Transcendence, intelligent choices, values You...
December 2009
10 posts
me: i have to get my boss a gift
me: shit i need to get a card and like... something. no idea what though
me: coffee?
me: i don't know if she drinks coffee
avocado: get her liquor
me: no idea what she drinks, and she's a bigtime snob
avocado: you should get her some of the jesus juice
me: in the spirit of christmas and all
me: she's gonna look down on whatever i give her, but liquor's a definite fail
me: except jesus juice
me: you cannot regift the jesus juice
avocado: exactly
avocado: who looks down on the blood of christ
WatchThis video has everything. Everything except for sticks, seeds, and stems.
Martha Stewart: check.
Snoop: check.
Egg McMuffin reference: check.
Horrendous Christmas sweater: check.
Freestyle about pot brownies: check.
slurtle!! →
epic coincidence
julseas: i'm listening to pandora and it just segued from the beatles "julia" to bob dylan's "to ramona"
we're #47! we're # 47! →
utah and south carolina - okay, i get it… but besides being boring, what’s wrong with delaware? they were robbed.
i am proud to have lived in top 10 states for all of my adult life. from the bottom to the top, muhfuckas.
you know i'm a capricorn right?
i am crying.
julseas:
today: 1st it was hebraic “hip hop,” now it’s goats: RT @tomterrific @mbdenton made my week with this youtube mashup http://bit.ly/7xpdGK
What about the non-hipster bike riders? →
I am (usually) dressed appropriately when riding my bike down Bedford, but that’s beside the point. Got beef with semi-nekkid people in summer? As long as the naughty bits are covered it’s perfectly legal, and the public shouldn’t be penalized because we don’t share the same religious beliefs.
I think the real issue is that Hasids jaywalk like a motherFUCK and are...
WE MUST MAKE BATHTUB SPARKS →
Damn skippy, Ramona Quimby's a feminist. →
November 2009
20 posts
I cannot get the fuck out of this apartment soon... →
So now that there’s a go-ahead for Bruce Ratner to pave paradise and put up a parking lot, at least I’ll soon be more than two blocks away from this nonsensery. But if he builds a Starbucks where he’s tearing down these people’s homes, or if he Disney-fies my beautiful Brooklyn, I swear…
We’ve got our eyes on you, assface.
Fuck you, London. Fuck yeah, New York. →
We may complain sometimes, but nobody else can talk shit about our town. This is the proper response to those who dare try.
Maybe it’s premature, but Foster is getting dangerously close to reaching Richard levels of brilliance.
This is my vision of perfection realized. →
If they could somehow incorporate sex into these cookies as well, I would need nothing else in life.
Mississippi: reminding me every day why I... →
Holy higher education, Batman. Governor Barbour wants to wipe out the state’s public Historically Black Colleges and the only women’s college in one fell swoop. Is this the first time ever that Clarence Thomas makes a point I can agree with? Even HE thinks this is malarchy and says:
“I think it undisputable that these institutions have succeeded in part because of their...
Carrie Prejean has more sex tapes than John McCain... →
oh comeuppance.
